So I'm going to start this post by saying that I may piss some of you off who read me regularly, and if I do, I'm sorry, but if you know me you already know that I'm going to go ahead and say what I'm going to say anyway.
On Sunday I had the kids to myself, so after church we headed to Wal-Mart for an oil change and then began an afternoon of fun... lunch outside at Just Fresh, hiking the woods of McDowell, followed by exploring at the nature center and play at the playground. The kids had a blast and I enjoyed watching them just being able to stretch their legs out in the fresh air and sunshine.
There was something else however, that struck me, that I did not enjoy watching. The other parents.
I want to clarify that I have a cell phone. I talk on it. I'll send the occasional text message. I do not, however, have a data package. There are many reasons we choose not to have data for our phones, the greatest of these is that we chose not to be connected to the rest of the world ALL THE TIME, which is effectively what you do when you carry your data phone in your pocket. I love all of you, but enough already. Sometimes I just want you to go away : )
As I watched my kids eat lunch and listened to their happy conversation, I noticed that we were the only family at the restaurant having a conversation. No one else was talking to one another. Every father at every table was engrossed in their phone. Some of the moms were too. A lot of the dads were there alone with their kids, who sat in silence waiting for their meals while their fathers typed furiously on their phones.
It was the same thing at the nature center and the same thing at the playground. No one was interacting with their children at all. Now I'm the first mom to find a nice shady spot under a tree to sit and watch my kids while they run and play, and I'm more than happy to strike up a conversation with another parent as we watch our kids together, but unless it's dire, you won't see my phone.
I know that being on a phone doesn't make you a bad parent. I realize that these parents took their kids to lunch and to the nature preserve. They could have just as easily done nothing at all with them. I know. I get it. But as I looked around I was just so sad for them. All of them. The kids and the parents alike. I just felt like they were all missing out on the most important thing in their lives... one another.
One hundred fifty years ago parents didn't have a lot of time with their kids. They worked. They plowed fields. They spent hours a day doing laundry. They had to make their own clothes for crying out loud. So there wasn't a lot of free time for just hanging out.
Now, we have lots of time. I know we feel like we GO GO GO all the time, but the reality is, we have more time on our hands than people ever have on this planet. Heck, here I am having time to write this blog. But my point is that while we are together, maybe we should concentrate on really being TOGETHER. Really present. In the moment.
I would have loved to have walked up the the parents I saw this weekend and whispered in their ears "would you chat with your kids if you could IM them?" But I didn't and I won't. Because it's not my place and it's not my life. But I can tell you that it was a wake up call for me to make sure to try and always to be "present" with my kids.
They're only ours for a little while. Then they head out into the world and leave us behind and we may be lucky to get a text from them. I'm hoping that if I make time to interact with them now, maybe I'll earn a full fledged phone call from them when they are grown. Maybe : )
7 comments:
Amen. I completely, totally, and whole-heartedly agree. Well-said and excellent points.
Well said my friend! Well said!
Preach it Sista~ I totally agree with you!
I do agree with you 100%. But had to leave a comment with a little insight from the other side. My husband has a hectic schedule..work for him does not end on weekends. He travels more than the average 8-5 working mom or dad. I will say he is very concious about spending time with us that I believe we get more quailty time with him from him knowing and being aware that moments are special. There has been a time or two that he has had to take an email on one of his two business blackberry phones. I understand it and can support it at times. With that being said..You may have a peak into someones world from a table across the way but you cant make such a judgement that those people are that way all the time. My husband has invested more time in our family and children than you would think a guy on his phone would from a glance. Infact he is the first one to remind me to enjoy it all and to slow down. He sets the example for me. I guess I jumped on this blog comment as my husband happened to be at just fresh on Sunday with my daughter. He may have been on the phone and maybe one of the dads you are refering to? But what a person from across the way does not know is that he had just taken a red-eye flight and had maybe 6 hours of sleep in the last 2 days. But while I had to be somewhere he was so excited to spend time with our daughter just coming straight off a trip and take her out for a daddy daughter date. He could have easily went home placed her in front of the tv and taken a nap. There are lots of parents at home on Facebook doing the same thing..ignoring their children. (for maybe the smae reasons you choose not to have a smartphone..we choose not to have a facebook account) There must be a happy medium as techonogy is a bit overwhelming.
anonymous - i completely hear you and i do know that there are all kinds of situations out there. i know there are a lot of good dads (and moms) doing the best they can and sometimes that means taking a work call. i guess what was the worst part for me is that it wasn't one or two, it was EVERYONE!!! and it was 1pm on a sunday afternoon. it just seems that it's become the norm and i think it stinks. and your husband is exactly the reason i would never actually say anything to anyone, because i DON'T know what their specific situation is. just in general, put your phone away and have a chat with your kids instead : )
Well said..thanks for being so open to hearing both sides.
anonymous - thanks for leaving your thoughts. i value EVERYONE'S opinion. you won't always get my agreement, but you will always get my respect!
and everyone else - thanks for reading!!! : )
Post a Comment