Tears... finally.

So Molly's first day of school went off without a hitch yesterday. The size of her backpack almost kept her from getting in the door, but once inside she was all business. Right to work and not even a goodbye to her mother. Okay. Since she was strong, I was too. No crying.

This morning, I dropped her off at the door and she happily skipped into the building. No wave. No backward glance to see if I was still there (I was). Nothing. Brody cried hysterically after her to come back, but I thankfully held myself together.

Until this afternoon. At pick up, one of the other teachers brought her to the car. She climbed inside and off we went. Then I noticed her teacher running after the car, arms flailing to wave me down. My stomach sank. What could Molly have done in a few short hours that would cause the teacher to come running after me? I stopped and rolled down the window.

Her teacher smiled and told me that she couldn't let the weekend begin with out letting me know what a sweet little girl I have and that she's never met another student with such nice manners. "You've certainly done a wonderful job with her," she said.

And finally I cried. I gave her the nicest thank you I could muster and then had to pull the car to the side to have a good cry.

We all want our kids to be smart and to do well academically in school, but I don't know if she gets straight A's from now until graduate school if I will ever feel so honored to be Molly's mom.

The Big K

Sometimes life can be really slow. Like when you are waiting the nine months to meet the baby growing inside you. Or the weeks leading up to a really great vacation. Or waiting for the brownies to cool.

But mostly life moves fast. Too fast. And here I am wondering what happened to the last 5 1/2 years of my life. Just yesterday I was confined to a hospital bed in the high risk unit of the maternity ward petrified of what being born at 31 weeks was going to mean for my little baby. And here I am today, sprinting through Target with my beautiful little girl happily shopping for school supplies and dresses (only dresses) and new shoes. When did she get old enough to go to school? (And when did I get old enough to have a kid in school?)

It isn't like starting kindergarten is coming as a surprise. We all know it's been coming for a while now. When preschool ended in the spring, I knew I was going to have to savor each moment of this last summer before we enter the realm of "parents with school age children." A world where years are divided into 2 parts - summer and everything else. I just didn't know it was going to come so fast.

And more surprising is how really really sad I am about the whole thing. I figured by the time school started this August that we would all be ready to head our separate ways. That we could all use a break from one another. But it just isn't the case. Molly and Brody have grown so much as brother and sister this summer. Then genuinely enjoy spending time together. And I am having a very hard time wrapping my head around not having Molly around every day. She is my constant companion. The happy little voice from the back seat of the car joyfully prattling on about nothingness. The silly girl who asks me a thousand questions a day seemingly just to drive me insane. My big helper. My best little buddy. My shadow. And now she is going to be away from me for over 6 hours a day. Who's idea was this school thing???

I know that the time has come. I can't keep her all to myself forever. I must share her brilliance and her spunkiness and her silliness with the rest of the world. This is, after all, why I had her. To make the world a better place... and not just my world.

So in exactly 2 weeks from today, you get your hands on her world. Please be gentle with her. And patient. And don't change her too much. I know she will eventually lose her childhood innocence, but please let her be for just a little while longer. Send her back to me in one piece and maybe, just maybe, I'll let you have Brody in a few years.