Anyone who has spent any time with Brody is aware of his fascination with the female anatomy. Due to circumstances beyond my control, I was forced to stop nursing the poor boy at only 4 months old. It was way too soon for me and I am now finding out that it may have been too early for Brody too. Freud would have a field day with this one.
Brody's obsession started normally enough. He happily announces every morning as I dress that he sees my boobs (this is his word, not mine.) I try to use this as a teachable moment to also point out Mommy's arms, legs, feet, etc, but he seems to fixate on the boobs.
Television is a disaster. From 8-8:30 every night, we spent time alone getting ready for bed. Many nights the TV is on. One night the Miss America pageant happened to be on and it was during the evening wear competition. His eyes locked on the TV and all he could say was "boooooobs!" His favorite part about American Idol? The female judges cleavage.
Until several weeks ago, his boob fetish did not leave the house. Then one day we had lunch with some friends. Brody sat across the table with one of my more well endowed friends in a modest tank top. He just couldn't help himself. He looked straight at her chest and gasped "boooobs!" And last weekend we went to the mall and as we were walking in a teenage girl in a halter top was walking out. He craned his neck around backwards to watch her walk out the door yelling 'booobs" and we walked past. Oh the humanity.
Folks, this is getting serious. I can't even walk past the lingerie section at Target without him gaping and yelling "boobs" at every bra he sees. I'm starting to get the "great parenting" look from the other moms.
I am a mother beside myself. A woman who believes with every fiber of my being that women should never be objectified. And here is my baby... objectifier extrordiare.
Do you think he would be too mad at me if I require all his girlfriends to undergo a cup size check in the hopes that maybe he will learn to love women for their personalities as well? I'll let you know how it works out in 14 years. Until then, if you are going to be seeing Brody, please wear a turtleneck.
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6 comments:
Hmmm...should I take it personally that he's never commented on my chest? ;)
Hahaha! Sorry, but this is hilarious! :)
Boys will be boys!!!
hahahahahahahahah... gasping... oh my gosh. That's hilarious. Kids fixate on things... Ally's obsessed with a mole on my chest. She has named it "moley" and likes to kiss it and touch it. She used to pull my shirt down to see it. Sigh.
Tyler touches my boobs all the time and it makes me kind of uncomfortable. I almost feel violated or something. Rick says it just because boobs stick out so little kids notice them. Well, my nose sticks out, too, and Tyler doesn't have any interest in that! I just totally ignore it in hope that the fascination will wear off. I have a feeling that Brody will grow out of his boob phase, too. That is kind of funny, though. Who cares if people give you strange looks. It's not like he's saying 'murder' or 'cocaine'!
Back in college, one of my dear friends was student teaching in a kindergarten classroom. She is very very well endowed. One day, a kindergarten boy grabbed the neckline of her shirt and pulled it down, exposing her generous proportions. As he did so, he yelled, "Boobies!" Moral of the story: Brody is certainly not alone in this fixation.
Moral #2: My friend did not become a school teacher. She did become a manager of Victoria's Secret.
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