A Really Great Big Sister

I am a sister. A big sister. For a long time I was really horrible one. Some of that was my fault and some of it wasn't. I was 4 1/2 when Laura was born and I felt completely hoodwinked when my parents brought her home. I had visions of a friend, a playmate, someone to run around with and play games. Instead, what they brought me was this lump of a baby that cried and slept and took all the attention off of me. And thus the beatings began...

As I was growing up I always had visions of my own children and there were always three. Two girls and a boy, in that order. But of course God doesn't give a hoot about what your vision is and instead He gives you what He wants you to have, and He gave me Molly. After giving me a taste of motherhood (and by taste, I mean an all-you-can-eat late night buffet) I quickly rethought the idea of two children, let alone three.

For the first 18 months of Molly's life, I seriously did not want to have any more babies. But eventually, time heals all wounds (both literally and figuratively) and the idea of giving Molly "someone to play with" didn't sound like such a bad idea. But I also knew my tolerance for babies and two of them at the same time was something that I didn't think I could handle, so it wasn't until Molly was 3 1/2 that Brody became a part of our family. And overnight, Molly went from being my baby to being Brody's big sister.

I worry on a daily basis about the kind of big sister she is going to be. Although I know no matter what I do there will be times when she hates him and resents him and wants nothing more than to send him back from whence he came, I do still pray that they will be friends. I worry that they are too far apart in age. I worry that the fact that they are girl and boy will stand in their way from ever being super close. But then Molly, being Molly, makes me not worry quite so much.

She reads him stories (whether he's listening or not). She sets up his trains for him. She holds his hand so tenderly as we cross the parking lot. She shares her candy in the back seat of the car. She gets out a stroller for him whenever she gets out a stroller for herself. She encourages him to finish his breakfast so they can hurry up and go play. She runs around with him. She happily trades watching her show to let him watch yet another Baby Einstein. She helps him put on his shoes. She hugs him every day when he goes down for his nap and is genuinely happy to see him when he wakes back up. She combs his hair. She lets him sit with her at the computer watching YouTube videos of the Swedish Chef over and over and over. She helps him look for his lost dog lovey. She explains the rules. She is patient and kind and loving.

Sure, she tattles on him, gets angry when he pulls her hair, and enjoys time when she doesn't have to constantly share whatever she is playing with, but all and all, she is a fantastic big sister.

And so now I have new visions of my future. There is one that involves a big sister and a younger (albeit taller) brother dancing together at a wedding. I'm not sure which one's wedding it is, but they are dancing together and laughing and crying and I am standing to the side watching them knowing I did all I could to make sure that they were friends. I can only hope that God chooses to share this vision with me.

(Also, I want to add for the record that although my sister and I live 1000 miles apart and lead completely different lives, I am honored and blessed to say that she is a wonderful sister and my most cherished friend.)