Yesterday for the first time in ten plus years I was verbally attacked by someone. It sucked. And as usual, I didn't have the composure to say what needed to be said in that moment because the shock of the confrontation laid me out.
But now, after spending the day (and some of the night) searching my heart for the right words to say, God has given them to me. I wish I had the courage to send this email to the person who questioned my allegiance to the Lord today, but I don't. It will make me feel better to share it with the world at large, however, so that is what I will do.
Dear Sister,
I wanted to let you know that the discussion we had about Amendment One today stayed with me for the rest of the day. And not because you changed my mind about North Carolina's decision to "try" and define for everyone living within it's boundaries what love must look like. No, it had just the opposite effect. Instead, I searched my heart and spoke endlessly with God about what He would want me to feel about this topic.
You asked me flat out if I thought when it was time for me to stand before God and be judged if I would stand by my decision to have the state of North Carolina NOT define marriage as one man and one woman. And without hesitation I said "absolutely." At that moment, I was so caught of guard by your brazen attitude that I didn't have the words to tell you WHY. God has given my those words now.
Having read the Bible cover to cover, and studied it extensively, I am quite familiar with it, both as a book of historical documents and the word of God. I say this not to boast but to let you know that I value and respect the Bible and all its teachings as I am sure you do as well. The Old Testament is filled with rules. Lots of them. Hundreds of them in Leviticus and Numbers alone. And then there's that interesting book of Judges. And Kings. And as I am quite sure you are aware those books of the Bible spend great time and detail in telling us what we as God's people can and can't do and should and shouldn't do. You may also notice that as good Christians living in the twenty first century, we don't follow many of those rules any more. And for good reason.
It's not because we don't all want to please God. And it's not because I have no access to rams by which to sacrifice. It's because the whole point of that part of the Bible is to show us that we CAN NOT meet God's standards. It is impossible. Only one human being in the history of the world has ever been able to keep up to those standards. We could spend every minute of every day working tirelessly to be as "good" as we can for God, but we will never do it.
But God needed us to try. He needed us as His people to try to keep and follow all of his "rules." His purpose in giving us all of those (sometime seemingly ridiculous) rules was to prove to us that no matter how hard we try, we will never, never, never measure up.
And then, just when we were ready to throw in the towel, God gave us His Son. And he said, "Listen my loves, it's okay that you are not perfect. That you are flawed. I made you that way. But you can't please me alone. You can't stand before me alone. You need my Son. He's the only way. He will measure up for you. He will make you whole."
And this son, Jesus, he was the opposite of the Old Testament. He avoided rules. He spoke in parables to avoid passing out rules. The people begged him repeatedly just to hand them some rules that they could follow so that they could keep themselves in check and make sure they were "doing the right thing." But he didn't give them rules. He told them believe in Him and love and serve one another. That was it. An entire ministry and that was it. There were no scrolls of parchment filled with endless lists of dos and don'ts and rights and wrongs. Just a simple commandment to love one another. He asked his disciples to love one another as they loved him and everything would be just fine.
So when you asked me today if I could stand before MY LORD and tell God that I chose in 2012 NOT to define marriage as one man and one woman, I said absolutely. And now I know not only can I and will I, but I say that Jesus will be standing right there with me smiling about my decision. Because today I followed His rules. I chose not to judge others today. I chose not to think that I was important enough to tell others how they should spend their time here as a child of God. You know why? Because that's not my place. It's not my job. It's NOT why I am here. Jesus didn't send his apostles out into the world with the commission to "judge one another" and "make sure everyone follows my rules." (Those were the Pharisees he hated, remember?!) All he said was love one another. Take care of one another. And that is what I chose to do today. God's job is judging and handing out rules. My job is taking care of the other children here on this planet with me. And taking care of them means being fair and being just and making sure everyone in this country is equipped to take care of their families just like I am equipped to take care of mine.
I am not sending this message as an attempt to sway your opinion. I know you are as firm in your belief that you are doing the right thing as I am in my belief that I am as well. I don't want to make you feel bad. Or defensive. I just want you to see that sometimes it's not about good and bad or right and wrong, it's about how best to serve each other. Making rules that suppress an entire group of God's children may not be the best way to do it. We've tried it before. We made rules in God's name to control the lives of slaves and Native Americans and women. It seems silly that we did that now. I pray some day soon we will think the decision that we made as a state today seems silly too.
Many blessing to you today. I pray you will continue to enjoy my company now that you know my heart and that we can travel on this road of life together as stewards for one another knowing and respecting that we are each doing the best we can with where we are in our own lives.
Elaine
7 comments:
Loved your letter! I'm a friend of Kerry Parolini. She read me the letter and sent me your blog link. I would like to link it to my blog with your permission.
Laurie @ House of 34
www.odetomyabode.com
Wow!!! You have stated your heart and the truth so well. How proud I am of my daughter today. Tears in my eyes should tell you that I realize what a special daughter you have become. We are so proud of you for your compassion and understanding of the human spirit.
Beautiful! Thank you for sharing your words! You said it so much better than I ever could!
Thank you for sharing! You definitely expressed what I've been thinking. Kudos for putting it out there!
17 “Do not think that I have come to abolish the Law or the Prophets; I have not come to abolish them but to fulfill them. 18 For truly I tell you, until heaven and earth disappear, not the smallest letter, not the least stroke of a pen, will by any means disappear from the Law until everything is accomplished. 19 Therefore anyone who sets aside one of the least of these commands and teaches others accordingly will be called least in the kingdom of heaven, but whoever practices and teaches these commands will be called great in the kingdom of heaven. -Jesus (Matt 5)
The law has not been abolished.
Therefore go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, 20 and teaching them to OBEY everything I have commanded you. Matthew 28:19-20 Jesus' last words.
People experience Christ existentially then they want to obey his teaching. As a Christian you don't obey so that you are accepted, you accepted in Christ so you want to obey. If your heart truly believes (romans 10:9) your willing to give much more to God than your sexuality. There is nothing thats not up for grabs: children, family, job, dreams, career, beliefs ect. This is the response of those who are credited with "faith" in the scriptures. They didn't just believe with their minds, but with their hearts, minds, soul, and strength.
if Jesus is the son of God who died for our sins and rose again then he deserves much more than our sexuality, but our beliefs, our lives, everything! If he's God he's worthy of that and more.
But if He can not contradict your deepest desires, than you don't really "love" (used as a verb virtually every time) God with all your heart, mind, soul, and strength. Much like the husbands in the original step ford wives you don't want someone who can contradict you you want someone who agrees with you. The husbands didn't like all the work the wives had them do so they killed them and replaced them with robots that obeyed their every command.
At some point in our history, sexuality(and more specifically sensuality), has become the god through which we view the world. So the rule goes, If the law/rule matches up with our view on sexuality then it's good, and if it doesn't it's bad. Even Christians have elevated this beyond their own sins. How many Christians lose sleep over video piracy, or child prostitution. Not any I know. Why, because it's more of a proclivity towards conservate values than it is some inspired righteous outrage. But, just like the Pharisees, Jesus did not rebuke them because they followed the law but because they didn't follow it enough. He doesn't say in the sermon on the mount, "You guys have been telling people not to be adulterers and that's just wrong, people should decide what's right for themselves." Rather he says you haven't gone far enough and more specifically rebukes their motive for following the law. They hadn't been obeying God out of love for Him, but out of love for themselves. One of the ways you know you love God is because you obey for him (john 14:15) even when it costs you your view on sexuality, your bliefs, you dreams, and for the pharisees their selfish aspirations. In short, they were rebuked for why they were obeying, not what. Jesus points this out.(luke 15)
Paul (Peter calls his letters scripture (2 peter 3:16)) writes to cities that were dealing with the issue of homosexuality, and tells them that those who practice it won't inherit the kingdom (romans 2, 1 corinthians 6, even in his last letter to his disciple Timothy). Paul speaks in these very same letters about cultural laws that have passed, but points to this as one of the things that will keep you from inheriting the kingdom. The gentiles who were homosexuals would have to surround their sexuality to Christ, just as non-homosexuals had given up families (luke 14:26). He clarifies it to the converts in cities that thought otherwise.
I'm totally against bullying homosexuals, even though I did it before I became a Christian. I have good friends who are homosexuals, which I would never have had had i not become a Christian. I also don't think the amendment lines up with the scriptures in that you can't legislate morality, which I also would not have believed had it not been for Christ. t Because he's so amazing I want to obey him! If he's for something I want to be for it, and if he's against something I want to be against it. He continually contradicts my religious proclivities. The question is if he is God why can't Jesus contradict our views on sexuality? Have we made a Jesus that looks more like us, and less like a transcendent timeless God that Jesus claims to be. If he's not god, but just a good teacher to pull good teachings from then I understand, but if he's God then he's worth more than just our beliefs, but our dreams, and even our relationships. (luke 14:26)
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